Your friends they stand beside as you were flyin’

Oh you were flyin’ oh so high

When I moved to college, I lived off campus in an apartment with two other ladies. Soon after moving in, we met the neighbors and half of the surrounding towns. There were two men: one was enrolled at the university and the other just lived there and worked at some tire shop or something like that. They partied all the time. Even if it wasn’t a party, there were at least 3-4 “regulars” there. I met my husband at one of their parties. It was the get together spot for everyone. Shane, one of the neighbors, would comfort me when I was in “moods.” Sometimes I was depressed, sometimes I was manic, but always he was very kind to me.

He did heavy drugs. I once watched him pick up a roll of tape and try to drink out of it as it were a drinking glass and use a tv remote as if it were a phone. I’m not going to lie to protect myself, I traded sex for drugs. Not always, sometimes there weren’t any strings attached. And yes, he had a girlfriend. She didn’t live there. That’s just how that kinda life, drugs, leads you and destroys you. We already discussed how my hubs came to save the day, but I had already hit rock bottom the day I met the neighbors. The fact that he wanted anything to do with me prior to, knowing what he knew about me and Shane, still surprises me.

April 8, 2006 Shane passed away. Rumor has it that he was partying with some friends. I guess the drug of choice was heroin. As the friends were leaving, they heard Shane vomiting and they walked out. Shane asphyxiated on his own vomit. He had a baby due.

Shane holds a special place in my heart. I don’t know if it’s because I felt/feel bad for him or because other than drugs, he was nice to me.

song: Far Behind by Candlebox (chosen because he was almost always listening to that album)

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