If you’re a strong female,
You don’t need permission
I doubt my strength all the time. I started back to college and failed and it hurts my heart to think about it but I let my mental and physical exhaustion hinder my success. Oh and money, I got low on funds, too. I attended a private university and that shit ain’t cheap.
I’m still afraid to let the entire world know of my mental illness even though I sport a rather large mental health awareness ribbon on my right wrist. You can’t miss it. It’s plain as day. I got it probably about 7 years ago and it’s color has held up beautifully. I’m quite impressed. I doubt people’s ability to handle my being Bipolar. The stigma is unreal. I’m sure people wouldn’t be surprised to find out. God knows I can be a crazy b from time to time. There are a few people in my profession that do know, so I wouldn’t be shocked to know that EVERYONE knows. My profession is a small community…everyone knows everyone or at least knows someone that knows everyone that they don’t. I don’t want people to know because they have a tendency to say things like, “you’re extra bipolar today,” when I’m not my usual self. That really happened and more than once. However, hiding this secret weakens me and causes further undue stress.
***Sidenote: If my husband keeps throwing dirty, wet dog toys at me, so help him God.***
Let’s try something new. I got Dr. Gregory Stock’s The Book of Questions. I’m going to pick a random question and answer it openly with the utmost honesty. If anyone would like to comment their answer, that would be fabulous! Ok, here we go.
Q: When you do something ridiculous, how much does it bother you to have other people notice it and laugh at you? What’s the funniest thing about you? When was the last time you really laughed at yourself? What was so funny?
A: It doesn’t bother me at all. I think everything is funny, whether it’s appropriate subject matter or not. So, chances are if someone notices something that I’ve done, I’ll be laughing with them. Sometimes it’s a nervous laugh but usually I just crack myself up. The funniest thing about me – I have a smart, sarcastic mouth. I like to think I’m witty and can come up with “insults” and comebacks pretty quickly. This is lame but whatever. Two seconds before I just came over to the computer, I stood up from the couch and fell backward almost landing on the dog. I cracked up but hubs, who was sitting right there the whole time, missed the entire thing.